Differences over the water...

More Police Jokes

A drunken man leaves a bar; he meets a police officer on horseback.
He says to him: “Stop & walk your dog.”
The police officer answers:
“It is not a dog, it is a horse.”
The drunk answers him:
“I wasn’t speaking to you.”

“Hello police, I have just crushed a chicken, what do I have to do next?
- Eh well, pluck and make it cook it at gas mark 6.
- Ok, good, and what should I do with the motorbike? “

There were three young people who wanted to enroll in the army. The colonel called to the first to approach him and started to ask him these questions:
- How old are you?
-28 my colonel.
- How much do you weigh?
-130 my colonel.
- Have you already used the gun or rifle?
them 2 my colonel.
This one passed the test successfully. The second and the third was a little nervous and were required to be re-questioned by another colonel. The second says to him: Firstly it is 28 my colonel then 130 my colonel and finally it’s 2 my colonel. The third then moved towards the colonel & the colonel asked him:
- How much do you weigh?
-28 my colonel.
- How old are you?
-130 my colonel.
- What do you take me for, an imbecile or an idiot?
them 2 my colonel.


The telephone sounds at the general headquarter of the FBI:
- “Hello.”
- “Hello, it is well with the Police?”
- “Yes. What do you want?”
- “I invite you to visit my neighbor Tom. I have reason to believe his hiding place for marijuana is in his firewood…”
- “It is noted.”
The following day, the police arrive at the house of Tom.
They look around until they find where the firewood is kept. They split each log, but do not find any marijuana. They give up, frustrated at being called for nothing.
The telephone sounds at Tom.
- “Hey, Tom! Did the police come?”
- “yep!”
- “They did cut your firewood?”
- “Yes they did it.”
- “OK, I figure it is your turn to call them next.
I need to plow my garden… “