Makes you proud doesn't it...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Jokes about women
What are the differences between a woman and a tornado?
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???
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None, both of them end up leaving with the house!
Why do men choose to have wives who cry all the time without reason, and who take 3 hours to get dressed?
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???
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- They do not choose; all of them are the same!
The small boy asks has his father:
- “Dad, when I came into the world, who gave me my intelligence?”
- “It is surely your mother, because me, I still have mine.”
On a golf green, one guy has already spent 5 minutes calculating his next swing, looking in the distance, then looking at his ball, attempting to measure the expanse between them, trying to calculate the speed and the direction of the wind.
Inevitably, his game partners are irritated:
“My gosh! What on earth are you deciding to do? Are you going to swing or not?!”
The guy who wants to impress his wife answers: “My wife is over there watching me from the club-house. I want that my swing is perfect!”
One of his buddies answers him:
“Err well, if you want my opinion, you are not that likely to strike her with your ball from this distance!”
A sergeant asks 2 officers:
- What would you do in a jeep if a helicopter were chasing after you?
The first answers:
- I’d take out a bazooka and then aim at the helicopter.
The second answers:
- I’d imitate the women; I’d use the left indicator and then turn right.
A pretty blonde seems very excited while she is waiting in the offices of a lawyer. Without taking the time to sit down, she asks:
“It is true that if I divorce, I will obtain possession of half the goods of my husband?”
“If one manages the situation well, answers the lawyer, yes, it is possible. Why, are you thinking of divorcing?”
“Not yet, the blonde answers. Initially I must find my husband.”
Why did NASA send a woman in space?
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???
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Because it’s less heavy than a dishwasher!
Which are the perfect measurements for a woman?
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???
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Answer: 90,50,41
(90 years old, 50 million in bank, 41°C of fever)
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???
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None, both of them end up leaving with the house!
Why do men choose to have wives who cry all the time without reason, and who take 3 hours to get dressed?
…
???
…
…
…
- They do not choose; all of them are the same!
The small boy asks has his father:
- “Dad, when I came into the world, who gave me my intelligence?”
- “It is surely your mother, because me, I still have mine.”
On a golf green, one guy has already spent 5 minutes calculating his next swing, looking in the distance, then looking at his ball, attempting to measure the expanse between them, trying to calculate the speed and the direction of the wind.
Inevitably, his game partners are irritated:
“My gosh! What on earth are you deciding to do? Are you going to swing or not?!”
The guy who wants to impress his wife answers: “My wife is over there watching me from the club-house. I want that my swing is perfect!”
One of his buddies answers him:
“Err well, if you want my opinion, you are not that likely to strike her with your ball from this distance!”
A sergeant asks 2 officers:
- What would you do in a jeep if a helicopter were chasing after you?
The first answers:
- I’d take out a bazooka and then aim at the helicopter.
The second answers:
- I’d imitate the women; I’d use the left indicator and then turn right.
A pretty blonde seems very excited while she is waiting in the offices of a lawyer. Without taking the time to sit down, she asks:
“It is true that if I divorce, I will obtain possession of half the goods of my husband?”
“If one manages the situation well, answers the lawyer, yes, it is possible. Why, are you thinking of divorcing?”
“Not yet, the blonde answers. Initially I must find my husband.”
Why did NASA send a woman in space?
…
???
…
…
Because it’s less heavy than a dishwasher!
Which are the perfect measurements for a woman?
…
???
Publish Post
…
…
…
Answer: 90,50,41
(90 years old, 50 million in bank, 41°C of fever)
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